Any healing or therapy ideally allows an introduction of new options to replace old patterns of behavior, attitudes, thinking, emotions, ways of being that no longer serve us. As much as we might want to change however, we cannot give up old ways of living without something to replace them. This requires risk.
Another problem that arises in any growth process is something a friend of mine calls the “comfort of the familiar”. We may hate our job, know we have outgrown a relationship or friendship, maintain self-criticism or self-pity when we know they no longer serve us or any number of situations or behaviors yet we hang on to them as if our very survival is dependent on maintaining the status quo. Why you might ask? They are familiar! We know how to handle them even if they make us miserable. Hitting this point of awareness most of us make a resolution to grow and change, pull out the familiar tool of self-discipline and try to force change and end up back, yes, right where we started.
How to get out of this dilemma? Remember me mentioning we need something to replace old ways with something new? How about self-responsiveness, self-trust, a sense of self? As we get more comfortable and accepting of who we are the process of letting go becomes much easier. And much more comfortable.